In 1996, when I was an editor at LifeWay, I spent a handful of days in the hospital. It was a difficult. I’d never spent a night in the hospital and we had four young boys. Needless to say, my wife was up to her ears in kid’s stuff and I hated that I was stuck in a place I didn’t want to be. Breaking out of a downtown facility in a hospital gown was out of the question. I’m an overly bashful sort. At about 9 PM, after I had read every bit a literature available in my room, I heard a familiar voice. It was George Clark (picture below), a pastor, fellow editor, and mentor at LifeWay. Besides the Mrs., He was my only visitor that week. Nobody from my church came to the hospital, but George was there. It was during that time that I really appreciated the power of servanthood and character. George went to be with the Lord a few years ago. I don’t remember a whole lot about that experience, but I can still see George walking through the door, and I can still hear his deep voice and his unmistakable Tennessee accent as he prayed for me. Those are the things I will remember until the day I see him again in Heaven. He showed me what the character of a man looks like. 

The following characteristics were personified in George’s life and work. I think he’d agree with this list.

Be a man of honesty. 
A man should personify honesty in all his relationships. We ought to strive to be honest which is harder than it sounds. Sometimes it’s hard to speak the truth while fudging with the truth seems easier. Truth-telling is the bedrock of character. It would have been so much easier for Stephen, one of the first seven deacons, to slowly back away from the truth when he saw the religious leaders holding rocks and daring him to continue to speak. He was the first of many believers to lose his life for the truth of the Gospel. 

“If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters.” Alan K. Simpson

Be a man of sexual integrity. 
Recently, we’ve witnessed how fast and how far men can fall when they lose their way sexually. No man sets out to wreck his life over a fleeting pleasure but it happens gradually, sometimes innocently and later the damage is visible. That’s why guardrails are so important. The culture has changed dramatically in realm of sexual conduct in our culture but the Christian standard remains. We have to be diligent and guard our hearts. We see the story over and over again. It starts out with a conversation. Then a sharing of feeling and emotions that should not be shared with a woman who is not your spouse. Then the gravitational pull of sin continues to slowly wear down the boundaries until the only thing left is a mess that two or more families will have to survive and a church that has to ask what to do next. 

Be a man of generosity.  If you want to see the true character of a man, look at his bank account. Materialism is at an all-time high and generosity is at an all time low. Most economists say that todays families give less of a percentage of their income to the church and other charitable organizations than the families in the Great Depression. I really don’t understand it; but I don’t think I’ve ever met a person that has “giver’s remorse” after they gave generously to the Lord. Why? Giving makes us happy. In 2017, HealthDay News reported after research that “generosity really is its own reward, with the brain seemingly hardwired for happiness in response to giving.”^[1]

Be a man of optimism. Optimism seems like a personality trait than an aspect of character, but I would argue that optimism is primary to the health and viability of a church. It speaks louder than the eloquence of your preacher, the aesthetics of your facility, or the talent of your musicians. If the leadership is optimistic, the church culture will change. You certainly remember the twelve spies that went to get a preview of the Promised Land. What were their names? Think hard!  I’ll bet you remember only two- Joshua and Caleb. They’re the ones people name their kids after! No one names their son, Shamua or Palti or any of the other names on the spy roster. Why? All spies, except Joshua and Caleb, were frightened, pessimistic and forgettable in the long run. We must be optimistic. We’ve all read the back of the book. We all know how the whole thing ends. Jesus is on the throne. Satan is defeated. We win! And if we’re optimistic about the big picture, we can be optimistic that God can work with our faith. 

Be a man of humility. Harry Truman said it best, “It’s amazing what you can accomplish if you don’t care who gets the credit.” I’ve known lots of men who seek power and prestige at church because they didn’t get it at work. This is contrary to everything the church is about. Being a man isn’t about grasping for power. In fact, a committed follower of Christ is about the exact opposite. We go about our business with a spiritual basin and towel, just like Jesus.  Once you are a man of humility, there’s no telling what you will accomplish. 

This is what I know about being a man of character. If George was around, I’d call him to improve this list. His short list would be better. He lived it every day. 

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^[1] https://www.webmd.com/balance/news/20170815/givers-really-are-happier-than-takers#1

One of the great blessings in my marriage is this:  My wife knows how to mingle. I just tag along.  I’m not much a talker. As much as I’ve prayed for it, the Holy Spirit never anointed me with the gift of mingling. Perhaps something happened in my childhood or maybe it was that rule that I took too seriously:  Don’t talk to strangers. Darlene has never obeyed that rule and I couldn’t be happier. At dinner parties or church fellowships, I’m happy to just smile, nod and let her practice her gift of conversation. She even successfully invited a salesman to visit our church when we attended his timeshare pitch.  We didn’t even have to buy a condo and he showed up at our church the following Sunday. She’s talked her way out of my speeding tickets. 3 times! She turns on the tears and shares the reason I was speeding and the next thing I know we are given the tip of the hat and we’re back on the road. I’ve never talked my way out anything. She’s a pro. 

I hate haircuts, and not because I long for a man-bun or to look like a member of Led Zeppelin. No. I hate it because I have to make a short list of things I to say to the gal who cuts my hair. After two or three universal topics like the weather, what I do for a living, who I am, I usually create about 10 minutes of awkward silence. I tip a little more than most because who can put a price tag on awkwardness. 

My dad was a total extravert. He could and would talk to anybody. I remember days as a child watching him figure out a way to talk to everybody. He’d start with a joke. He’d have about ten in his holster. And then he  would try to figure out if he was related to the stranger. I learned at a very young age that, in fact, we are somehow related to everyone in town. Even an exchange student from Japan. 

For me, the polarities are striking. I don’t have any trouble getting up and speaking at conferences or church services. No problem there… It’s a controlled environment. I plan what I’m going to say and no one talks back.  At least not often. They stay in their seats and I stay on the platform. No problem. After it’s over, it gets strange though. My impulse when I speak to people after the meeting is to begin a long screed of apologies. 

“Sorry it took so long.” 

“I hope you could hear me.”

“I don’t think I said it the way I want to say it.” 

As parents and grandparents, we have to talk. The generations behind us need our words about the important things like defensive driving, the importance of a daily quiet time and the complete absurdity of the American League designated hitter. I think I do well at these talks especially about salvation and walking daily with Jesus. The difficult conversations about human sexuality are the ones I dread. I never felt qualified. I’d take my kids on a special trip and along the drive, I’d spill the beans on how everything works. For me, the strategy was perfect because I could keep my eyes of the road while I’m talking.

These days I am willing to embrace my introversion while seeking to be more daring in my interactions. In fact, yesterday, I even talked to the parking officer who happened to be placing a citation under my windshield wiper for parking in a no-parking zone.  We had a wonderful  conversation about our kids, the growth in our city, the power of random acts of kindness. We must have talked for 15 minutes. But he still gave me the parking ticket. 

In Tennessee Williams play, “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof,” we encounter the alcoholic anti-hero, Brick Pollitt. Brick was once a football hero with the world at his feet. But in the play, we see him as an broken man who hopelessly lost his way. His liquor provided the only peace from the noise and tumult of life. He describes it as a click that would come after he gets enough drink to settle his nerves. Throughout most of the story, he is simply waiting for “the click” and that momentary ephemeral peace he craves. It seems that there are so many men, who decide life’s not possible without some kind of click, whether it’s through entertainment, sex, beer, or sports. It’s all about numbing the pain and satisfying the constant craving of their soul. 

Brick is an archetype of spiritual despair. He’s long since left the hunt for meaning and entered into a state of moral paralysis. He’s mourning the death of a close friend and struggling with the guilt of his own existence. His marriage is lifeless. Everything is circling into a pit of meaninglessness.

No purpose, no passion, no peace… But still a thirst, an unquenchable thirst.

The Samaritan woman Jesus encountered, had the same issue 2000 years earlier. She asked Jesus where she could find this water that could quench the thirst of her soul. She had been on an arduous quest through several marriages and gods. And now the one true God of the universe stared her down and offered her something far greater than a click of peace. He offered her a fountain of living water. We constantly encounter men and women who are going through their day, navigating through life from one click to the next, searching for peace. Jesus went out of his way to offer a soul searcher a fountain of peace that proved far greater than a momentary click. And now Jesus invites us to share this living water also. 

Isn’t it inspiring when we see Forrest Gump running through the battlefield as bombs explode carrying his pal Bubba? We have to smile when we hear those simple, loving words, “Bubba was my best good friend, and even I know that ain’t just something you can find around the corner.” It’s true. Good best friends are rare.

God surprised David by revealing that his best friend was to be the son of his greatest rival, King Saul. (Read 1 Samuel 18:1-3.)

1. Choose your friends wisely.

Perhaps one of the most important decisions we make is who we choose to do life with. Friendship and connections will determine our destiny, shape our future and direct our steps.

“Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company corrupts good morals’” (1 Cor. 15:33).

“A contrary man spreads conflict, and a gossip separates close friends” (Prov. 16:28).

“Don’t make friends with an angry man, and don’t be a companion of a hot-tempered man, or you will learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare” (Prov. 22:24-25).

2. Forgive your friends willingly.

“Therefore, God’s chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. Above all, put on love—the perfect bond of unity” (Col. 3:12-14).

If we are not reconciled, Jesus reminds us that we can’t experience real worship. Worship is always preceded by reconciliation and forgiveness. Otherwise it’s just religion.

“Nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime; therefore, we must be saved by hope. Nothing which is true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history; therefore we must be saved by faith. Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore, we are saved by love. No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own viewpoint; therefore we must be saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness.” —Reinhold Niebuhr

3. Listen to your friends closely.

Our real friends aren’t the ones who simply flatter us and make us feel comfortable with ourselves. The true friend loves us enough to speak truth to us. If we want to grow we must learn this art of speaking and listening to truth.

“Without guidance, people fall, but with many counselors there is deliverance” (Prov. 11:14).

“Better an open reprimand than concealed love. The wounds of a friend are trustworthy, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive” (Prov. 27:5-6).

4. Defend your friends fiercely.

Are you willing to defend your friends when they experience adversity? Solomon describes this type of relationship this way in Ecclesiastes:

“Two are better than one because they have a good reward for

their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up;

but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up. Also,

if two lie down together, they can keep warm; but how can one

person alone keep warm?” (Ecc. 4:9-11).

5. Love your friends sacrificially.

“This is My command: Love one another as I have loved you” (John 15:12-15).

A surprising friend is one that will lay down his or her life for you.

A surprising friend is a friend that loves with a God-kind-of-love!

The moment you began your relationship with Jesus Christ you also began a relationship with other Christians. Now you are part of God’s family, and in God’s family there are no orphans. God did not intend for His children to live as individual islands of faith, but rather as a community of believers, interrelated with each other and part of something much bigger than themselves. That “something” is the Church.

6. Know the greatest friend eternally.

“A man with many friends may be harmed, but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).

To experience a love that crosses all boundaries of race, opinion, and fear

To be a friend is to know the Friend.

To understand a love that crushes the hard shell of bitterness

To know love in all its aspects

This is to be a friend.

To ignore

To know the need and never take a stand

This is the way of isolation.

His voice beckons us to share this love

It’s a sacrifice far and above.

Higher than any mountain

More refreshing than any other fountain

This is the heart of the God.

It’s what we choose to applaud

It’s what we celebrate today

Precious, more than words can say

And the more we seek His grace

The more hurt we are willing to face.

To be the kind of friend that goes the extra mile

To see the pleasure of His smile

This is what it really looks like to be a friend

A servant faithful to the end.

To seek Him

To find Him

To serve Him

To love Him

To please Him

To be His friend . . .

5 Traits of a Humble Leader

I don’t know about you, but I can’t wrap my brain around the task Moses faced. Can you imagine the pressure of being a leader and provider for thousands of people in the wilderness? And these weren’t perfect followers by any stretch. 

You can just imagine the voicemails and texts he would get before 6 AM, if there were voicemails back then.

And to top it all off, his own family took offense to his wife’s nationality and let everybody know about it. But Moses, according to Numbers 12:3, was a very humble man. The Lord took care of the situation without a word from Moses and after they received God’s leprous punishment, Moses even prayed for their healing. Evidently, Moses had the Lord’s attention, and I would argue that God came to his defense precisely because of his humility. Ultimately, Moses’ humility led to unity among God’s chosen people.

“That pillar of fire at night is scaring our camel! And that cloud during the day is affecting my asthma.”

Humility is the secret sauce of every long-term leader. The Hogan Assessment Firm, a secular research group, offered a summary of their work in studying humble leaders: 

Organizations often overlook humble employees for leadership positions in favor of those who are charismatic. Charismatic people are charming and inspirational, but many turn out to be narcissistic, arrogant, and potentially exploitative. In contrast, humble leaders empower followers and promote team learning.^[1]

1. A humble leader is teachable.

The worst thing that could happen to a servant leader is for him to believe that he has arrived. A humble leader is self-aware. He’s aware that every circumstance and relationship is an opportunity to learn. Think about it. We are unique, which implies that there are skills, perspectives and lessons that are found in every relationship. The humble leader would say, “There are some things I can only learn from you.” With this as a mindset, every relationship, even the difficult ones, are treasured. Every challenge, trial and circumstance provides an opportunity for growth. Jerry, a deacon in our church recently was diagnosed with colon cancer. In the first five minutes of our initial conversation, he said something that I’ll never forget. “You know, Matt, it’s difficult, but I’m sure learning a lot of things through all of this. It’s really amazing!” Frankly I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It wasn’t a posture of self-pity or pessimism, although he had every right to go there. It was almost like a simple prayer of “What’s next, Father?” A Christ-follower approaches life as a lifelong learner who is rehearsing his walk with Christ as a prelude to eternity. 

• A humble leader quickly realizes and admits mistakes.

Perhaps the most impactful moment for the season leader to seize is the opportunity to say to his peers and mentees, “I made a mistake.” Or “I need a do-over.”  Nothing great is ever learned when leader casts blame on others or seeks to cover up a personal mistake or a sin. The only way a team grows through a failure is when amends are offered, and mistakes are owned. Your ability to be humble means you are not only willing to recognize your shortcomings but also being able to laugh at yourself even now and then. Create a “James 5:16 moment.” Joyfully confess your faults one to another! It will get your mind right. It might even heal you. 

• A humble leader celebrates other leaders and is quick to give credit. 

The flipside of admitting our mistakes is sharing the credit. In the church, credit is infinitely divisible. We are all part of the same body. As President Truman and Coach Wooden often said, “It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.”  As humble leaders we need to look for opportunities to recognize the successes and victories in our church. This is a far greater motivator than constant corrections and tweaks. Some men have to get over the inherent fallacy that if you affirm people, they won’t be hungry or motivated. Positive motivation always works best. It’s like the old parenting proverb, “Catch your kids doing something good.” A narcissist sees credit given to a colleague as a lowering of their own personal esteem through comparison. Envy prevents gratefulness and joy, but the humble leader celebrates others, and he is rewarded. 

• A humble leader admits his limitations.

Have you ever considered that a heavy workload and a life with no margin could be a hidden symptom of pride? It often connotes a man who is unwilling to delegate or ask for help because he believes that only he could do it right. The humble leader realizes that he’s not the resident superman. He burned that cape a long time ago. Don’t just give help. Learn to ask for help. As Larry Eisenburg put it: “For peace of mind, we need to resign as general manager of the universe.”

• A humble leader realizes that he is only vessel, not the main character. 

We are often tempted in assuming the story is all about us, but of course it isn’t. We must get beyond ourselves and get the 30,000-foot view of all that is going on. We are all a part of a much bigger story than any of us can comprehend. I might not have a starring role, but I have a few lines to say. I commit to saying those few lines as best I can. You and I might not change a nation but we all can help change a child’s life. Imagine what would happen if everyone led humbly. It really would change a nation!

Humility is a gift, but it is also a skill. It won’t be accomplished overnight. We must daily pick up our cross. We must work on it daily. Jesus provides the template: “He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death— even to death on a cross.” When we focus on Jesus, it’s not hard to be humble.

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^[1] https://www.hoganassessments.com/research/ongoing-innovations/humility-2/

As I read the Gospel, there’s something that stands out in so many narratives and backstories. Jesus loves desperate people. Whether it’s the pleading father, the paralyzed man whose friends tore the roof off a house, or the sufferings of the entire nation of Israel, desperate people always get His attention.

I can remember times when I was so preoccupied with my work, the game, or a task, that my five-year-old son would grab my face with both his hands to assure I was listening. That’s just how absurdly one-track minded I can get. But that was never the case with Jesus. Nobody had to grab Him by the face. The moment the tassels of his prayer garment were touched, He felt her faith connect with His sufficiency. There is absolute power in the faith of a desperate person.

I’ve spent lots of time trying not to appear desperate, while knowing the deep chasm of my own insufficiency. And there is power in desperation. It’s clumsy at times. When I’m desperate, there’s no telling what might come out of my mouth. My prayers are fragmented. Sometimes all I can pray is the oldest one: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God have mercy on me.” In fact, that’s how I start every morning. It centers me on the truth that I have to cry out for mercy. Every morning. Every evening. And a baker’s dozen times a day. “Lord Jesus, Son of God have mercy.” I’m sure there are those who don’t need his mercy as much as I do, but it’s my broken bread and butter.

It brings me back to the woman reaching for the tassels of Jesus. (Luke 8, Mark 5)

A desperate, sick, bankrupt woman fights her way through the crowd to touch Jesus’ cloak. In Mark, we read that she spent everything she had on doctors but things only got worse. I have been there. It’s when you throw money at a problem and the problem’s appetite for money only grows. No one wants “money pit” problems. They’ll bring you to the end of yourself. Who wants that? There comes a time when you aren’t worried about how humiliating you look. You just lay yourself out there in front of God and everybody because you don’t care what anybody thinks. “In front of” is none of your concern.

As soon as she made contact with Him, He knew it and focused all his attention on her. In one moment, we can agree on a number of things about Jesus. He’s never too late, He’s never too busy, and He’s never too burdened to step into the pain of our desperation. Sometimes, He has to bring us into desperation in order for us to diligently seek Him. That’s the whole point of this life and yet we are often too consumed with the crowd to really stop and focus on our ultimate and preeminent King. That’s too bad, because when it comes down to it, every solution for brokenness, our pain and neediness is no more than a touch away.

Lord Jesus, Son of God have mercy. I have so often wanted a self-instigated salvation without the mess and grit of desperation. There is only one hero in my story. Have mercy in my desperation, so that I can more fully revel in your rescue.

Being a parent is the perfect metaphor of “two steps forward, one step back.” It’s just the way things work in parenting. I thought about that as my youngest son wheeled out of the drive in his ’99 Subaru, loaded to the gills with his belongings to venture from the nest and into the great unknown. Parenting is uphill both ways. It’s not a race to the finish line. There is no finish line, and many days it’s a slow slog.

It’s like those moments when you get your kitchen so clean that you could be considered obsessive compulsive, and then you walk into a family room flooded with the chaos of matchbox cars, action figures, building blocks, and dinosaurs (some of them slathered with chocolate pudding cups). Two steps forward, one step back.

I don’t know how many times I’ve had to jump through all the hoops of getting the guys to bed, but now that we’re past that stage, I’ve realized that hoop jumping was my superpower. A certain number of pages must be read, teeth need to be brushed, prayers must be said, and covers need to be adjusted. And just at the right time, they’d crave water like a Labrador Retriever in the Sahara Desert. It seemed like my boys were never tired until they collapsed. Darlene and I said what all parents say from time to time: “It’s not about how tired you are, it’s about how tired you are making us.” After our last son, we relaxed as parents. We were so busy with the schedules of Upward Basketball, birthdays, carpools, parties, and science projects, we’d find him sprawled out on the family room floor with a half-eaten fruit roll-up in his little hand. Two steps forward, one step back.

We’ve missed a lot of adventures because we had kids. We’ve never been to those luxury resorts with crystal blue waters and not a stroller in a hundred miles. But we’ve been to a few amusement parks and wrestled a wild, squirming five-year-old for thirty minutes to administer amoxicillin. We found these moments both traumatizing and, I must confess, somewhat exciting. Sometimes they get so dirty, the bathtub was out of the question. They were backyard, spray-them-down-with-the-water-hose dirty. We found parenting a rewarding rollercoaster ride of sound and fury, signifying a whole lot of stuff. Two steps forward, one step back.

I’m not a perfect parent, and we didn’t raise perfect kids. Becoming a good father has been two steps forward and one step back. I said, “Maybe” when I was really thinking, Yeah, that’s not gonna happen. For years I’ve stolen peanut butter cups from my sons on November 1^st. I’ve made stuff up when the answers to their questions would require more wisdom and intelligence than I have at 5:30 in the morning. But now that they are gone, we still hear their voices echoing quietly through the house in our memories. They robbed our peace but stole our hearts. And that’s for good. We treasure the days they return as adults for holidays and celebration. Our roles as parent have changed. We made progress even though it was two steps forward and one step back.

ever since the days of yellow buses and rocket ships
that landed after lunar conquest
i have yearned to see beyond this skin
the bold courageous Warrior
that lies within

He triumphs over veiled conspiracy
the grassy knolls of hostility
flying headlong into the undiscovered 
creeds of truth
and that’s where i am 
before the thoughts slow down
and the angels bring the grace of sleep.

this (one and only) God
knows my weak mortality
keeps me from insanity
my words in all their gravity
redeeming my depravity

nothing stops the Spirit’s rise
above my feeble alibis
and in the morning
the beat of yeaning has begun.
Sweet Jesus whispers still:
O Jerusalem.

G. K. Chesterton once said, “The worst moment for an atheist is when he is really thankful and has no one to thank.”

Well, I am not an atheist. I have Someone to thank. But as I’ve gown older, my gratitude list has become a little unexpected. My gratitude spans over many years, towns, jobs, and circumstances, but only one wife. And I’m thankful for that as well. One wife. I don’t know how the “multiple wife” thing would ever really work, and I don’t know any Fundamentalist Mormons to ask.

I’m thankful for the unexpected rescues that I’ve experienced, like the old lady in our church who had the stealth and courtesy to let me know my fly was unzipped before I got up to pray in front of the whole church on Easter Sunday last year. That’s called mercy.

And I’m thankful for the fireman who came to our house so quickly after our two-year-old got stuck inside the leg lifter of our recliner several years ago. Don’t ask me how he did that. There are certain things toddlers never reveal. I thought they were going to have to come in with the “jaws of life,” but it only took a special screwdriver to free the child, and the fireman even stayed to reassemble the chair. That’s called grace. 

I’m also thankful for my sisters who prepared me for marriage by helping me learn that it’s impossible to win an argument with a woman you live with. That’s called wisdom. 

I’m thankful that most broken electronics are fixed by unplugging them, waiting thirty seconds, and plugging them back in. I’m thankful for the internet and video assembly demonstrations for items that come with French language instruction manuals that only show arrows, slots, and hardware. Otherwise, I’d have a storage room of random, useless parts.

I’m thankful that I didn’t win the auditions for several theatre MFA programs after college. I would have never met my wife, and I would probably be doomed to a life of off-off-Broadway productions and bit parts lasting three seconds on CSI as the dead body.

I’m thankful for the near misses, the high school break-ups, the interstate break-downs, freedom from wealth that could have made me over-confident and less hungry, and the times I got sick, which God used as forced Sabbaths when I was too busy. I’ve come to realize that the blessings of life rarely come from shortcuts, windfalls, and leisure cruises. Instead, I am blessed because of a lot of things that were awkward, uncomfortable, disappointing, and scary. Each moment and person reminds me there was Someone behind the scenes, working all things together for my good. All things––even the unfortunate and slightly embarrassing ones.

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Photo: Photo by Alexas_Fotos on Unsplash

It doesn’t take a genius to realize that we live in a time when society is trying its dead-level best to mute the voices of believers. With even greater frequency, we experience a fear of walking boldly with Christ. And what does walking boldly actually mean? Does it mean a fish decal on our car? A hot take on social media? Winning a debate at the watercooler? No. Walking boldly with Christ cuts much deeper than these common applications and surfacy caricatures. When you became a Christ-follower, you were explicitly called to walk boldly with Christ and live a life of bold, courageous, and sometimes dangerous service. You are one person in a long line of Christians, beginning with Stephen who, amidst the onslaught of hurled stones, stood unashamed. It’s a counter-cultural undertaking. It’s revolutionary. How do you know you’re standing unashamed? Here are five ways:

To stand when others are falling.

We all know how hard it is to stand consistently and how easy it is to fall. I’ve come to realize after 58 years on this earth that I could wreck my life in less than 15 minutes. My flesh is a formidable opponent! The Apostle Paul reminds us, “to resist in the evil day, and having prepared everything, to take your stand.” We stand for truth in an age of temptation, rage, selfishness, and ungodliness. Dudley Tyng stood in a day when slavery was practiced in the 1830s. He stood boldly against it. He said, “I would rather that this right arm were amputated at the trunk than that I should come short of my duty to you in delivering God’s message.” Before he died, he was asked if he had a message for the ministers he knew. It was simple: Let us all stand up for Jesus. 

To love the ones no one else is loving.

Christians are God’s safeguard for the neglected. Those first deacons were commissioned to restore the safety, provision, and dignity of Greek widows. These widows were being neglected in food distribution. The gaps of language and social status among these women became a point of reckoning for the early church. As deacons, this is our inflection point of purpose. We are called to love and care for those who may be neglected. This requires attentiveness and presence of mind. Deacons must be self-starters when it comes to compassion. 

To speak when no one else is speaking.

The unashamed leader is called to speak with boldness when others cower. This is difficult for many deacons because we are called to serve. How can someone serve by speaking boldly? Sometimes serving means that we speak words that someone needs to hear rather than something someone wants to hear. How often have we been hesitant to speak the words that would save the hearer from eternal damnation? We have the opportunity to speak bold words that save!

To give when everyone else is hoarding.

Walking boldly requires us to give boldly. We place all of our assets under the lordship of Christ. At the end our lives, we will be more grateful for the things that we gave away than the things we kept to ourselves. Generosity is countercultural in an era of excess and accumulation. It requires a bold focus on stewarding our resources in such a way that we have a capacity for boldness in giving. Interestingly, giving is contagious. When you give daringly, you embolden others to do likewise. They’ll see you have skin in the game, and they’ll want in on the action. Our boldness in giving is accompanied by a promise: “Test me in this way,” says the Lord of Armies. “See if I will not open the floodgates of heaven and pour out a blessing for you without measure.” (Malachi 3:10b CSB)

To believe when everyone seems to be doubting.

An unashamed deacon walks in faith and imbues an optimism for the mission he endeavors to achieve. Like Caleb and Joshua looking over the heads of the giants to see the amazing vineyards of the promised land, we can walk joyfully into the challenges before us. The outcome of our mission is in His hand, so let’s believe and not doubt. 

Let us stand, love, believe, give, and speak with great boldness. With these guiding principles, we can step into a much larger and grander story. Others will follow our lead and we’ll discover we are not alone. We learn the truth in King David’s words that “when we trust in you, we will not be ashamed.” Psalm 22:5