some plan

their own phantasmagorical funeral

preacher boys with stories that’d make everyone cry.

even mother-in-laws and accountants

I have different plans on that day.

when i die

I’ll watch my father sling jawbones

with samson

both made it in the door by the grace of God

same as noah

he found grace

he discovered it

or it discovered him

before he clanked the first nail into gopher wood

or shoveled the first cart of kangaroo caca

the story began in grace and splinter

the mercy of limping jacob and stumbling bartimaeus

they sidebar and tell stories

smiling and wondering about weak eyes

discussing it with the miracle boy of Jesus’ mud pies

look(!) there’s paul–the lasik surgery is divine

big letters not necessary.

he can read the fine print

he’s catching up with a big stack by his side

& checking out the far flung analysis of his work

from n/t/wright to barnes to hal lindsay

(the later, just for fun)

The speech therapy is complete for stuttering moses.

he can wax eloquent for millennia

AND Jesus is smiling

His children–the whole great cloud is back home

The aroma of the spread catered by angels

and feasting on the vision He’s been waiting to see.

and in gobsmacked wonder, there’s a whisper

under the breath of all the saints-

“it’s all true”

me?

i’m the guy way over in the back of the family portrait

on the 12,857,009th row

next to a man named bart wrankle (of whom i have not met)

I want you to know how proud I am to be your father. You have brought so much joy into my life with your humor, passion, your hunger for knowledge, and your love of life. I hope that you will remember this night as a time when I gave you my blessing. Always know that your father loves you and prays for you as I will until I die.

This is your life.

May you find that the only true friends are the ones that will tell you the truth even when it hurts.
May you run toward God because in the end- He’s what this life is all about.
May you seek wisdom above everything else.
I pray that you will have fun. Fun is good. But I pray that you will run away from foolishness. Remember that you can ruin your life in 60 seconds of wrong decisions.
I pray that you will treat women with dignity.
I pray that you will be true to yourself and be uncompromising.
I pray that you will not be caught in the snares that are everywhere around us.
I pray that you will learn the power of relationships.

This night is special too. This night I am giving my first father’s blessing. Tonight I speak blessings upon you and I release you. As much as I would like to keep you under my wings, the truth is you are now the caretaker of your destiny.

I release you into the world. As much as I am able I will continue to invest in your future but from this night on I will become more and more a prayer warrior and a spectator as your choices.

Tonight I want to challenge you to step fully into manhood.  It’s not something that happens instantaneously but manhood is about choices. I’ve learned the hard way in my life. Manhood is not an age but a choice.

A boy is selfish.
A man is sacrificial.
A boy speaks easy lies
A man speaks hard truths.
A boy has a foul mouth relying on a few vulgar words to communicate a myriad of messages.
A man uses a robust vocabulary to solve a myriad of conflicts.
A boy refuses to listen with an open mind.
A man listens much and talks little.
A boy is controlled by anger.
A man channels his anger to create Godly change.
The pleasure of a boy is unbridled and thoughtless.
A man is lives for a cause which ultimately brings him more pleasure than anything a boy could even imagine.

Jesus said: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

I can tell you this one thing that I know for sure:  Life is difficult. And once you accept that life is difficult you will find that it’s not too difficult to handle.

You’re likely to meet your future wife in the coming 4 years.  Choose wisely. Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the LORD.

Marriage is learning how to serve.  It’s God’s invention so that men like us could learn how to be like Jesus.

There is no woman on the face of the earth who will be able to make life worth it. It’s got to come from inside you.

Your success will be measured by your ability to do the hard work first and then the fun stuff. Every successful man learns that skill.

Christians will let you down.  It’s a fact of life.  Christ won’t.

You are going to face temptation greater than any you have ever faced. But I believe you have the character to handle it.

Sitting in front of the class will do more to help you succeed than any other college tip I can think of.

I have known five friends that have died from alcohol related deaths- binge drinking, alcoholism, killed by a drunk driver.  Please don’t be the 6th.

Your metabolism will slow down tremendously over the next 2 years. It’s just how a man’s body works.  Exercise and eat right.

You are loved, accepted and celebrated.  Tonight, I regard you as a man. Now it is your turn to change the world.

May your head be full of dreams.

May your heart be tethered to truth.

May your path be narrow and challenging.

May you fight for nobility.

May you never take alliance with fools.

May you run toward God.

May you find romance in life.

And may you seek the approval of God more than the approval of men.

Recently, I did the annual New Year’s cleaning. I love getting rid of stuff. Like most, it happens on a warm Saturday afternoon after the garage sale. We sold 174 items and ended up with around 35 dollars. I was amazed that so many of people don’t want what we don’t want. By the end of the day, I was paying people to take what’s left over. “I’ll pay you 50 dollars to take the sofa that’s parked in the garage.  Please? I know it’s mauve. But mauve is back! I’ll even throw in the inflatable Santa Claus!”

After a Saturday of lifting a refrigerator, an entertainment center, my son’s barbells and various other items, I woke up the next morning and grabbed a shirt out of the closet and the next thing I knew a shock of electricity shot through my back. I aged 30 years in half a second, as I tried to get up. I looked at myself in the mirror. It was a pathetic sight. I was stooped down and to the right at a 60-degree angle. I had the posture of the Elephant Man. What happened? The day before, I was robust, vigorous and almost impressed with the deftness of my herculean prowess and the next, I’m bent over like an extra on the set of the Golden Girls after attempting the feat of lifting a shirt from the closet. I went to church like that because I didn’t have time to draft a small group leader replacement.  Our group was very understanding and prayed for my restoration, but evidently these demons require much prayer and fasting. 

Monday, I found a chiropractor who could squeeze me into the schedule. I am not a frequenter of chiropractors, but I’ve been before. I’ve learned through the years that there are different schools of thought when it comes to chiropractors. (Or as my grandmother called them: “the choir-practors.”) Some of them have a little tool that pokes you in the spine after they hook you up to a something akin to an octopus with electrical suction cups. I’ve been to others that wanted to sign me up for a lifetime supply of supplements containing things like lamb’s hair extract, acacia seeds and aromatic wild caught salmon oil. For me, I don’t think you’ve actually been to a chiropractor until he puts you on a plank of wood and you hear bones popping as he plunges his knee in your thoracic vertebrae.  That’s when I know I got my money’s worth.  

It’s been a few days and I’m walking normally now. I’ve learned a lot since then. I’ve learned that it’s the little things that often trigger the hidden pain of over-exertion. I think that’s true in marriage. It’s often not the actual disagreements we have that bend Darlene and me out of shape. It’s sometimes the guy tailgating me on the way home that incites my contrarian mindset. And sometimes the best thing I can do to keep my marriage and my back healthy is a little daily stretching.  It’s not a macho as weightlifting but it’s just as important.