All was well in the Amish community in Lancaster Pennsylvania until a deranged man mercilessly shot 10 Amish girls and then turned the gun on himself in 2006. How did they respond to this shocking loss? Amazingly, the Amish community didn’t blame. Instead, they reached out with grace and compassion toward the killer’s family. They understood the importance of forgiveness, not for the killer’s sake. He was dead. But for themselves. Why? Because living in unforgiveness is debilitating. 

Most of us will not have to endure that depth of offense. Most bitter people didn’t become a bitter person through the act of a single dagger. Most bitter people are dying from a thousand paper-cuts. The girl that rejected him… The backroom deal in the company that cost him a promotion… The humiliation experienced years ago from a father’s rage… Whether we can reconcile the relationship or not, we must forgive. 

We get stuck. We fantasize about vindication. We look at relationships surrounding the offense with malice. We cling to bitterness as our beverage of choice. We talk about it to people who have no business hearing of it. We dream about going back, doing things differently, saying something more damaging, or avoiding the offense. For many, this becomes a lifestyle that poisons every relationship they enter. It’s insidious. 

Jesus is clear on this. In order to be forgiven, you must forgive. That’s easy to say but hard to do. And yet this is a primary hallmark of Christian manhood. It’s a heart issue. Who knows? Forgiveness might just save your life.

“He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.” – George Herbert

We are all connected through mothers- somehow, some way. Jesus was no different in that way. It all began with an angelic message.

“Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end.”

But this announcement began a journey of stratospheric highs and deep unspeakable lows. 

A long 75-mile journey to Bethlehem. Mary’s cry of childbirth was heard in the dust of an ancient land. Passing shepherds, children, and farmers on the journey- a mysterious dance into the future of redemption.

Can you feel her joy and pain as she brings Jesus to the temple and she hears the words of Simeon saying: 

“This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.”

Can you feel the sadness of a Mother, reminded once again that this blessing would bring:

heartbreak,

reproach,

fear,

uncertainty,

amazement?

…moments where life seemed to spin wildly out of control.

We see Mary sheltering her baby from the sword of an angry demonic ruler named Herod, demanding to kill all the babies two and under in Bethlehem in order to rid himself of the King to be. Mary was a warrior.

A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.

Can you hear the wails of those young mothers? Their dreams dashed in moments. God knows the hearts of motherhood destroyed.  Dreams never to come true… 

God knew. 

The burden of emptiness. 

The shattering of hopes.

Mary’s son would be spared, but only for a season.  A cross waited for her Son too.   But still He was Mary’s boy.

They were oblivious to His words in the temple.  They lost Him and had no idea where to find Him.  Can you imagine their anxiety!  Not in Walmart, not in the mall.  Jesus was lost in a huge city, no phone, no Amber Alert.

And then they found Him.  “Where have you been!  I’ve looking all over for you!” 

And then those words- 

both amazing and astonishing … 

Words that would break her heart in some deep maternal way: 

“Why were you searching for Me?” he asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?”

Perhaps at that moment, Mary- the mother of Jesus was reminded of the reasons wise men bowed before the cradle and angels serenaded shepherds on the outskirts of Bethlehem.

But certainly, for a mom, it brought at least a small twinge of sadness.  Besides, He was still Mary’s little boy.

There came a time after thirty years of rough hands and splinters, a carpenter left home for war.  It was the war of the ages.

But there’s little doubt that the war was fought on the home front for Mary.  Motherhood is also about letting go. It’s so hard to take in that God would give women such a powerful connection to their children and then ask then to step away.

And that’s what Mary did for three years. We see her briefly in flashes of the story of Jesus ministry.

Insignificant in comparison to some-  but she’s there.

We see her at the world’s greatest coming out party when Jesus and His followers attended a wedding. Mary, the mother of Jesus tells the servants:  

 “Whatever He tells you to do… just do it. “

Then the water was poured and the wine flowed graciously.

But she understood, no doubt, that she was not the center of the story.  Great mothers are like that, aren’t they? They are like a ghostwriters of masterpieces. Mothers stray from the limelight and paint their canvass to the glory of God in secret and alone.

Every parent wants to keep their child from harm. That’s something that God built within us.  It’s scary.

And she heard the venom of a scoffers calling out with their hatred. Their lies burned her ears. 

He who knew no sin became sin on our behalf.  

And the mother that fed Him, changed Him, rocked Him to sleep, helped Him learn to walk on His own, nursed his scrapes, could now only watch Him die.

She was there and Mary watched her son’s breathing on that cross, the final moments of agony, as she looked at Him there. We can imagine her mind racing back to those moments as a two year old- Jesus sleeping on His tummy, the back rising and falling with each breath He took.

We understand this dangerous truth:  That the choices we make are given meaning by the things we lose in the process.

And then those words…  Woman behold your son. Son behold your mother.

And then He died. 

I can only imagine the grief.  As they took His broken, lifeless body down from the cross. The anger of her Son destroyed, mocked, rejected, a felon called Barabbas was preferred over her Boy.

No doubt Mary went through the grief any mother would experience.  Like the scene from Steel Magnolias…

I’m fine! I can jog all the way to Bethlehem and back and back, but my son can’t! Oh God! I am so mad I don’t know what to do! I wanna know why! I wanna know why. Oh God I wanna know WHY? Why? Lord, I wish I could understand!

 No! No! No! It’s not supposed to happen this way! I’m supposed to go first. I’ve always been ready to go first!

Jesus?

creator

King of every king

and yet this was Mary’s boy.

blood spilled grace on me

and still Mary’s boy

piercing your heart,

Mary,

to save me.

Forsaking you?

and His kingdom?

for me.

What a terrible loss you suffered!

to watch this One you fed,

changed,

embraced?

carried,

protected, and nourished

now condemned to bear

nails and thrones

whips and shame

so that we could all come to the table.

and face the Gethsemane of every broken generation!

He cried for his Daddy as the sunset brought shadows on the edge of town.

You had others

but that night

He was your only Boy.

When we signed up to be a mom or dad, we signed up to fight the same battle. That’s what makes parenthood so scary. The same evil that drove Jesus to the cross is the one who causes evil, destruction, disease and pain.  We live in such uncertainty and yet we can know for sure. We are barren in and of ourselves and yet there is one that gives us hope in the midst of our barrenness.

Yes, there is the EVIL one.

There is one that sends prodigals running to far countries and wild parties filled with the winds of destruction and the seductive storm of consequence. But there is another—The Redeemer– that brings them home.

In the midst of our pain, our struggle, our hurt and our desolation. Joy rises and we find the strength to bear under the weight of extraordinary scenarios.

In this life, the Lord gives and the Lord takes away.  Blessed be the Name of the Lord. 

Take comfort in the One who tells us not to worry. We can become greatly troubled when our lives are in the spin cycle of God’s redemptive plan. Even in the midst of tears, tragedy, and loss we can celebrate through tears knowing that the story is not over, our lives are in his hands. I’ve always said.  “I don’t like surprises. It’s a character flaw I’ve dealt with for years. I want to know what’s around the corner but life isn’t like that,. We just don’t know. But can I just say this:  The real juice of life is in the not knowing. A young girl named Mary learned this truth.

This Christmas I’m recording very brief advent devotionals beginning December first all the way to Christmas. You can listen to them on the site or you subscribe to the “Scattered Feast” podcast on I-tunes, Spotify, or Stitcher,.

He’s never too late, He’s never too busy, and He’s never too burdened to step into the pain of our desperation. Sometimes, He has to bring us into desperation in order for us to diligently seek Him. That’s the whole point of this life and yet we are often too consumed with the crowd, the cash and the climate to really stop and focus on our ultimate and preeminent King. That’s too bad, because when it comes down to it, every solution for brokenness, our pain and neediness is no more than a touch away.

https://soundcloud.com/user-300863896/healer

In an era when we idolize “big,” God challenges us to live a lowercase life, putting others before ourselves, giving rather than taking, serving rather than demanding, and dying to self rather than living for self. And it all begins with the first word of the greatest sermon:

 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Who celebrates poverty of spirit? It is rarely even pursued. Yet, this one singular striving for less, has enormous benefits for the one who seeks it. Always little.

Little — be always little! Be simple, poor, childlike. Preach the Gospel with your life — without compromise! Listen to the Spirit. He will lead you.. Do little things exceedingly well for love of Me. Love… love… love, never counting the cost Go into the marketplace and stay with Me. Pray, fast. Pray always, fast. Be hidden. Be a light to your neighbor’s feet. Go without fear into the depth of men’s hearts. I shall be with you. Pray always.
Catherine Doherty’s Little Mandate

Entering his presence. At the feet of Jesus, you discover the beauty of emptiness and dynamic dependance on God. At His feet you discover that you really don’t need anything but the power of holy communion with him and His mysterious church. At His feet, we discover a perspective that transforms our daily, normal existence into a transcendent celebration of God’s grace. Even in the littleness of today, we discover broken bread and poured wine at a table where little ones are welcomed.

Better is one day in your courts
    than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
    than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
Psalm 84:10

Melting our motives. When we recognize our spiritual poverty, we begin to understand the absurdity of our own dwarfed dreams. We rise above the clamor of ambition, wealth, and shadowy motives. We begin to understand that we when we stray, we tend to cast ourselves in the leading role of life and leave the Hero in the wings.

Purposing your heart. Carson McClures entitled her novel, The Heart is a Lonely Hunter. She could have stopped with that one sentence. It says so much. Since the first day, our heart is hunting for love, purpose, safety, and belonging. One look into His eyes of Jesus, one glimpse of His glory, compels the heart to run to Him.

Trusting in his provision. The striving ends when we begin to trust the first truths in childlike wonder: He’s got the whole world in his hand. We have the honor of observing God’s work if we let go, and let Him do what he does best. He’s been at this a long time. We can trust that he knows best.

Jesus, I am resting, resting
In the joy of what Thou art
I am finding out the greatness of Thy loving heart
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee
And Thy beauty fills my soul
For by Thy transforming power
Thou hast made me whole
Oh, how great Thy loving kindness,
Vaster, broader than the sea
Oh, how marvelous Thy goodness
Lavished all on me!
Yes, I rest in Thee, Beloved,
Know what wealth of grace is Thine
Know Thy certainty of promise
And have made it mine
Jesus, I am resting, resting
Jean Sophia Pigott 

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

Yearning for his purpose. Once we are empty, God has room to work. He will carry us to our purpose which is, in truth, His purpose.

There may be a time in life when one is tired of everything and feels as if all one does is wrong, and there maybe some truth in it- do you think this is a feeling one must try to forget and to banish, or is it ‘the longing for God,’ which one must not fear, but cherish to see if it may bring us some good? Is it ‘the longing for God’ which leads us to make a choice which we never regret? Let us keep courage and try to be patient and gentle. And not mind being eccentric, and make distinction between good and evil.
Vincent Van Gogh

In many churches, you’ll find these personalities. They are often masters at knocking you off course. Your ability to identify their shadow mission and stand firm in your stated mission will determine your faithfulness to be a God-pleaser and not a man-pleaser. Keep in mind that they are important to God. They will cause you to grow in your faith, if they don’t cause you to lose your mind.

Ira the Ice Man: Ira resists change, no matter how small and he has lots of friends in Baptist churches. He loves the status quo.

Perhaps he got the message long ago that change is bad so he fights change in church and because Ira’s faith is very important to him he fights with even more vigor. The tough thing about Ira is that he doesn’t express his feelings openly and many times he sends coded messages such as rolling eyes and long sighs which sometimes can make a greater impact on the joy of the church than mere words.

Butch the Bulldozer expresses his negativity by running over churchmembers and ministers. He (or she) can be very hostile and instinctually takes out frustrations on others. It’s my way or the highway!

Betty the Blamer refuses to take responsibility for her own actions or provide solutions to church challenges Betty has a tendency to simply respond to crisis by looking for someone to blame.This most frequestly occurs when the Blamer is in a bad mood.

Her favorite saying when things go bad is “Don’t look at me. Jerry is the problem.”

Martin the Martyer is the bleeding heart of the church. He comes early is usually the last one to leave the church. He bend over backwards but will later complain about how much he is responsible for and how little others actually do. Martin’s attitude toward his brothers and sister’s in Christ is that he feels unappreciated. When this occurs, his favorite saying is “I’ve slaved for years at this church and nobody really cares.”

Bert the Busybody takes out his negativity toward work by spreading rumors. He pushes his power of information to the limit by seeming to have the latest scoop on the trial and temptations of others. Bert loves to add comentary to his information saying, let me tell you what is REALLY going on here. This gives Bert a sense of control and importance but it is a malignant blight on the health of the church.

Percy Perfect and when it comes to continual dissatisfaction we can always count on Percy Perfect! If something is not perfect, the Percy becomes negative. His standards for proper results and behavior are not realistic, and even excellent ministry that is blessed and applauded by others leaves Percy with a sour taste in his mouth and a frown on his face. For instant Percy helped coordinate an evangelistic event where 15 students accepted Christ but he couldn’t help but ask who left a scuff mark on the gym floor.

Know them, recognize them, love them, but don’t quit because of them. Your job as a leader is important.

Jesus constantly encountered desperate people. Desperation drew Him to them. One such example is a story of the mess on the descending switchback path from the Mount of Transfiguration. A father who ran out of options, platitudes, and solutions begged Jesus to heal his son. You can hear the emotions behind the words, “If You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us!” Jesus says to the father, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” And the father replies, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”

It seems like a dichotomy- I believe. Help my unbelief. But that’s the case for all of us. The state that we’ve entered is called “Unknowing.” It was incorporated about 6000 years ago just east of Eden’s spender. But it’s always been there. I’ve often stood at the border, one foot in Unknowing and the other in Faith. I’m amazed how connected these two provinces are. Faith is a state we aspire to enter with grace and certainty. Unknown is a wind-beaten dustbowl. It’s the badlands of spirituality that is often ignored but where many saints have spent days, even years. We believe we can change. We believe in the breakthrough of grace. On the other hand, we are often blind to the healing hand of God. It’s both. I believe. Help my unbelief. Note that Jesus didn’t say, “I’ll heal you once you believe 100%. Jesus met the father right where he was. He met him right in the middle of the land of Unknowing. Lean in to the truth that He is willing to meet you there also. 

There’s something going on in the heart of every person. It’s universal. It escorts us nightly through vivid three-dimensional dreams. It draws into dark rooms to observe the flickering lights of a movie. We turn pages filled with words that transport us to undiscovered experiences. This is the power of story. God created us for story. That’s why He gave us a Book. It’s filled with a cast of characters that inform us of the nature of life in all its aspects. Heroes, villains, guides, and dramatic arcs… They’re all there. Consider the incredible story of the orphan queen Esther.

The Role of the Villain: Haman

When Haman saw that Mordecai would not kneel down or pay him honor, he was enraged. Esther 3:5

Haman is the classic villain. He lusts for power and payback. Cursed with a sort of familiar narcissism, he longs to be the leading character. He plots with stealth, abhorring correction or criticism. Just like Haman, the narcissist in your life wants the glory. He saturates his conversations with talk of his importance. He relies heavily on alternative facts that are shallow, baseless and usually pointless. He’s ruthlessly at work creating allies and desires to control both the people and the narrative. We can all related to a villain like this and most people have a few of them in their personal world. Villains in your story will always challenge your loyalty.

The Role of the Guide:  Mordecai

When Esther’s words were reported to Mordecai, ¹³ he sent back this answer: “Do not think that because you are in the king’s house you alone of all the Jews will escape. ¹⁴ For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” Esther 4:12

Like the wise Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mordecai sees the big picture and challenges Esther to rise beyond her own insecurities, fears and apprehensions. He calls her to adventure. We all need someone to call us out of our normal world into a divine saga. Everyone needs that voice in their lives to challenge us to be more than we thought we could be. When villains are pulling strings we all need a faithful Mordecai. Everyone needs wise counsel. 

His words to Esther were engraved in immortality. “For such a time as this…” Grand moments are rare and often come unexpectedly. And when they come, the hero seizes them. A hero must nurture an expectant heart willing to strike at the right time. Sometimes destinies are lost because we’d rather watch television.

The Role of Prayer

¹⁵ Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: ¹⁶ “Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.”¹⁷ So Mordecai went away and carried out all of Esther’s instructions.
Esther 4:15-17

Prayer comes before action. Divine intervention triggers divine action. The gods of Rome and Greece were fickle aberrations. King, queens and pawns were subject to the whims of the lusts and moods of their gods. Our faith is in the God who calls us into the adventure. But not as a lone warrior. He bids us into partnership. Prayer becomes our connecting point.

*One other interesting fact: The rabbis of the Talmud suggest that during this time of fasting and prayer, Esther’s recurring context and motif as she prayed was this: “My God, My God, why have You forsaken me.” Also the length of the fast- three days- further links the plight of salvation from Haman to the plight of our own salvation accomplished through Jesus.

The Mystery of Divine Intervention

That night the king could not sleep; so he ordered the book of the chronicles, the record of his reign, to be brought in and read to him.Esther 6:1

There is an unseen hand that sculpts the story. He wakes people up in the middle of the night to do his work. The people prayed and a king had insomnia. So what does a king do when he’s awake in the middle of the night? He wants to read about himself. Because of this biographical work, the king discovers that the outsider, the rebel who refused to follow the party line, Mordecai, is actually a hero.

The Unexpected Twist

⁶ When Haman entered, the king asked him, “What should be done for the man the king delights to honor?”Now Haman thought to himself, “Who is there that the king would rather honor than me?”Esther 6:6-7

Every great story has a hairpin turn where black is suddenly white and white is suddenly black. The dialogue is filled with humor and ironic consequence. Haman assumes all the wrong things, as villains usually do in great stories. All the accolades Haman suggests to the king end up in the lap of Mordecai. And all the plans Haman had for Mordecai end up on the head of himself.

The Triumphant End

¹⁵ When Mordecai left the king’s presence, he was wearing royal garments of of Susa held a joyous celebration.

The day of gallows and glory is coming. Those who have suffered unjustly will be vindicated. And those who prefer the role of villain will receive the fruit of their foiled mission. We all have a choice as to which role we will play.

It’s not fair to the larger story for you to wait in the wings by putting down the sword, remaining stuck, fearful and distracted, when there is a world of adventure right outside the door of your iron and moated castle. The adventure is yours. Go get some!