Life is a Scattered Feast

He leads me each day,

(Provider God)

He created me needy,

and messy.

i see

beauty and brokenness,

abandonment and acceptance,

hope and dread,

mourning and dancing,

weeping and laughter,

death and resurrection,

blooming and wilting,

wonder and monotony,

smiling and wincing,

emptiness and abundance,

darkness and illumination,

saying and silence,

complexity and simplicity,

embracing and boxing,

torment and ecstasy,

wandering and epiphany,

sudden moment and long advent,

and everything in between—

day by day.

This is the table He prepares before me, temporary, ephemeral, and moveable

though it may be. The meal is sure. The menu is unknown.

i am a dependent of God.

and life is a scattered feast.

5 Ways to Avoid Becoming Overwhelmed

Posted by Matt Tullos October 29, 2018October 29, 2018Blog, Burnout, Calling|Discipleship

It had been an especially difficult year for our church. A number of key long-standing members abruptly left our church in protest to the changes we had incorporated in our schedule in the hopes of reaching new people. At our monthly leadership meeting, we were discussing the issue when Carl stood up, grabbed his coat […]

Modern Lamentations I

Posted by Matt Tullos June 25, 2018June 25, 2018Blog, Poetry

The image that swirls freely in perilous realms between sleeping and awake my banner of fullness in grief embodies every impulse. Fissures on the surface unveil the aspects of consequence And echoes of confusion and understanding. That feeling of helplessness when tragedy is unstoppable Regret stands in the foreground How could things have been different? […]

Communion: Avoiding the Awkward and Encountering the Amazing

Posted by Matt Tullos March 21, 2018March 21, 2018Blog, ideas

Growing up in the church, the Lord’s Supper often seemed mechanical, cold and unfamiliar to me. Why? Because it was done in a mechanical, cold, and unfamiliar way. The subtext of many of these celebrations seemed to be, “We only do this once every three months and so we barely know how this will […]

The Most Surprising Thing about Family

Posted by Matt Tullos February 9, 2018Blog, Homelife

Perhaps the most surprising thing about our journey as a family is that it is so surprising. The most predicable thing about life is its singular unpredictability. Think about all the things that you’ve experienced in your family that caused you to shake your head and say, “Well, I didn’t see that coming.” I’d venture […]

Today is Most Noble

Posted by Matt Tullos October 12, 2017Blog, Poetry, Sermon Readings, Spoken Word

God holds the future and redeems all of yesterday. But today is closer to me. What an amazing concept today, right now, really is. Today- I hope you aren’t planning a siege on your enemy. I hope you aren’t judging the person in the room. I hope you aren’t swallowed up in regret. I hope […]

The World’s First Smart Phone

Posted by Matt Tullos September 7, 2017Blog

Siri and I are having issues. I believe I lean too much on her and I forget that she does not have the capability of an administrative assistant, as most commercials would assume. She’ll take me to Cracker Barrel when I want to go to Kroger. She’ll call my blood donation center when I ask […]

Grace is on a Family Tree

Posted by Matt Tullos August 9, 2017August 9, 2017Blog, Sermon, Sermon Readings

My friend loves Jesus. That sounds commonplace, doesn’t it? It becomes less pedestrian when I tell you that his Mom died a drug addict and his father was a devout atheist. My friend was gloriously saved at the age of 10 at a Vacation Bible School event and never looked back. This. Makes. No. Sense. […]

The Two Questions that He Keeps Asking

Posted by Matt Tullos April 29, 2017April 29, 2017Blog, Sermon

After the resurrection, Jesus returns to the disciples and sets his attention on Peter. You remember Peter. He’s the cussing disciple. The sword wheeling, water stumbling, denier whose tongue sprinted a few miles ahead of his brain on any given Sunday. Jesus gives the disciples a little fishing advice that produces a record catch and then Peter […]

It’s Friday

Posted by Matt Tullos April 14, 2017April 14, 2017Blog, sermon readings

It’s Friday and He’s there… Suffering unimaginable traumas. He is deserted by fearful disciples, surrounded by tormentors, thieves, murderers, and religious provocateurs. Soldiers gaming over the final scant possessions of the Master of creation, ignore the darkening sky. Jesus cries out: “My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me?” On this holy day, God’s […]