He Came to Me

In the year
of disappointment,
loneliness,
fear,
In the year
of confusion,
desperation,
and chaos,

I saw the Lord.

My eyes had been blinded by amusement—toys,
savings and wealth,
dreams and aspirations.
In the midst of the sand castles of my own
self-importance,
my eyes were blinded by the temporal,
until an eternal God shook the doorposts of my soul.
He came to me, and I saw myself for who I was outside of Him:
naked,
dying,
cold,
starving,
and helpless.
He didn’t come in the sanctuary.
He didn’t come in the crowds.
He didn’t come in the ceremonies,[pullquote3 quotes=”true” align=”right” variation=”orange” cite=”Matt Tullos”]He didn’t come in the ceremonies, in the shifting dance of the day-to-day. He came into my deepest closet of hopelessness.[/pullquote3]

in the shifting dance of the day-to-day.
He came into my deepest closet of hopelessness.
He didn’t come with four laws.
He didn’t come with three points and a poem.
He visited me at midnight, when I least
expected to hear His voice.
He came to me at a time when my hopes were dashed,
when my future appeared bankrupt.
He came to me when every solid foundation seemed to collapse.
He came to me in the wilderness of my own destitution.
He came to me in the poverty of my own understanding.
He came to me when I laid down my toolbox,
my first-aid kit,
and my cookbook.
He came to me!
Hallelujah!
With a quick fix?
No.
He came to me!
With a list of seminars and books to read?
No.
He came to me,
and there was absolutely nothing I could offer in my own strength.
The masks, alibis, and diplomas faded under the light of His passionate gaze.
He didn’t need me.
He didn’t need my talents.
He didn’t need my knowledge, my money, or my influence.
On the contrary, He came to me because, for the first time in my life, I knew I was utterly helpless;
I didn’t have the answers.
For the first time in my life, I knew no word, no thought, no event would change me.
Only God,
Christ alone,
could change my heart.

He came to me!
He wrapped His arms around me and said,

My beloved, I’ve been waiting for you.

This work by Matt Tullos is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International